Roulette

Roulette..
When I think of roulette I think of these words:

Odds
Chances
Risk
Numbers
Round and Round
Win
Lose

Never did I ever consider adoption and roulette similar...
but when I learned this weekend that people who decided to go with a different agency (both of our dossier's landed in Ethiopia in the same month) are on their way to Ethiopia to pick up their baby boy... all of the words I used to describe roulette came to my head, especially the word 'LOSE.'  I felt like we lost (yet knowing very well, we are not losing.)

I know God has a plan and I rely on this Faith every day of my life...but the HUMAN in me makes me  question, doubt, question, doubt...hence the descriptive roulette words that creep into my head.

When our number is 'called,' when our baby(ies) are ready, we will go.  And in the end we will 'win'.... But until then, the wait will continue to be like the roulette wheel (the round and round and round and round.) HEAVY SIGH....

Family night

Chimpanzee

if you have a chance...
I highly recommend going to see Oscar and his gang...
the story is so touching!!!

on this saturday....

today

saturday

we spent quality time as a family

---

we cuddled in bed

played in attic

ate lunch

skipped TKD

played board games

ate snacks

read books

---

could i be doing something around the house

YEP

but today

I am with my family

---

so

nothing else matters!!

ahhhhh- it feels so good!

wanna 'picture' love?

Amazement

God works in such wondrous ways...
He is the ultimate example for perfect 'parenting,'
He lets us test our limits; maybe even being the Force that pushes us to our limits,
Let's us doubt Him,
Love's us even when we are mad mad at Him
He gives us the time and space to grow and FAIL,
But in the end is forever protective of us!!!

I have been witness to this over the past year in so many capacities of my life.  I am a child of God, I know this... and as I reflect over the past year, words CAN NOT describe how GRATEFUL I am, how BLESSED I am to be loved by our Lord.

Today is April 20.... and I am acknowledging ALL of my blessings today!!!  I am silently shouting THANK YOU to the Lord for taking a few things away!!  He is forever loving and protective!

I hand all my worries to him!

"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord." Psalm 112:7

Gigi

incredibly sweet,

strong willed,

a snuggler,

extremely artistic and detailed,

a fashionista,

SMART,

talkative,

quick witted- FUNNY 

(we call them Gigi-isms and I could easily write a book with them.)

loving,

free spirited,

sometimes shy...

Gianna is a brilliant little girl.  She truly brightens my EVERY day...  Our conversations are fun, easy and very best-friend like.  I can only hope and pray that our relationship continues to flourish and our bond as Mother-Daughter continues to grow strong.

Gigi- Mommy loves you so very much.  I love that you love pigs, especially Peppa.  I love how girlie you are yet at the same time LOVE to get dirty and run with the boys.  You are definitely the most "Italian" in the family, you would eat pasta for every meal if I would allow it.  You are super special, loved, and growing too, too fast!  

Have a wonderful, happy, healthy year my sweet girl!  Enjoy being 4!!!

PRAY

to start, I owe Gigi her Birthday post....I have not forgotten about it!

life is so busy, no excuse....

but do not worry, I am being reminded in many different ways to slow down.

and all I can say is thank you Lord for all of your wondrous works in my life!

.....................

but, I am blogging today because I owe this to my son.

he is such a strong boy with an amazingly beautiful soul.

I am being reminded not to take him for granted.

reminded in different ways that even though he is growing quickly, he still is a young child.

a young child requiring love and nurture every moment he's awake. (all kids deserve this)

............................

Garyn hasn't had the easiest life when it comes to good health.  He has battled through ALOT.  And we are struggling again with a few more health concerns... so this morning he was watching a Max Lucado movie titled "God is Always with Me."  Hermie wrote the word Pray on his hand to help him to remember to pray and as a reminder that God is always with us.  After the show, Garyn wanted to write the word Pray on his hand.  So we did, he was so excited to see it on his hand; proud of his hand. He looked at it and talked about it the entire way to school.

Tonight as we went to bed, I asked him about his hand and to see if it helped him through his day....much to my surprise, he BURSTED into tears.  He said two friends at school during circle time laughed at him because of what was written on his hand.

We talked for awhile about the situation and different ways he could have handle it (if he wanted to say something)....and in typical AMAZING, STRONG fashion, Garyn said, "Mom, I want to put it on my hand again tomorrow.  It helped me today."

I LOVE GARYN MATTHEW SANFORD!!!!  He NEVER ceases to amaze me!  God has gave me this beautiful boy for a reason....THANK YOU!